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February 12, 2020

“One step closer and feeling fine, getting better one day at a time…

I have faced my fears, now I can move in the right direction”

~ Beth Ditto, Gossip – Move in the Right Direction

I can honestly say that when I was going through my divorce, this song was a staple in my daily blast of motivation and inspiration. If you’re in the divorce frame of mind, listen to the song and let the lyrics move you. Let them, along with the upbeat jamming music, get you geared up for moving in the right direction.

Now that you’ve listened, think about it. Just like the song says, you’ve faced your fears and now you’re one step closer since you’ve chosen to move forward.  And in your case, with a divorce.

You’re ready…or are you?

Yeah, you know it’s time. You’ve made the decision and you know that’s the only option now. You have all the right reasons, but do you have a plan? Do you have your ducks in a row? Are you really prepared to move in the right direction?

I know you’re thinking: “What? I already know what I’m going to do so, of course, I’m ready to move in the right direction!”

Well, let me tell you: Before you do anything else, there are steps you absolutely must take to secure your emotional and financial stability and, as Beth Ditto says, you have to take it one day at a time so you won’t lose your mind.

But you have to get something in your head and keep it there.

As the song tells us, motivation may be a powerful strength but, unlike the song, hesitation cannot be your first instinct. Instead, your first instinct should be to establish a plan and you have to do it without hesitation.  Let me explain.

The first step involves building yourself a solid support system of friends and family. You’re going to need it more than you know.

Second, assess your financial situation and figure out what you can reasonably do to provide for yourself while you are going through the divorce. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Who is going to pay our joint bills during the process?
  • Are we going to maintain separate households or continue living together in the same place?              How are we going to pay for either situation?
  • Where are the kids going to live if we don’t continue living together?
  • Where will I get the money for an attorney?

Next up is something that a lot of people never even consider. At the moment, you just want a way out and you aren’t thinking clearly, but I promise you, the next five moves are an absolute must and you need to do it immediately if not sooner. Don’t wait until you talk to an attorney or until the actual divorce process has started.  No, these are things you MUST do to keep moving in the right direction.

  • I don’t care what else you’ve got going on, take the time to get copies of important financial documents for at least the past three years and put them in a location outside of the marital home. MAKE COPIES!! Only remove the originals from the home to make the copies then put them back.
  • Make a list of your assets and liabilities. Know what you own and what you owe. Make sure you know who is listed as the beneficiary of life insurance policies. Be aware of any retirement plans, money market accounts, etc, and find out the balances, who has access to the funds, and if penalties apply for withdrawal of funds.
  • Request copies of your credit report and go over it meticulously to look for discrepancies, errors, and things that you aren’t aware of that might exist. Do what you have to do to correct any errors or at least get it in the works.
  • Make a list of sentimental items or things that can’t be replaced. In fact, don’t just make a list, take pictures of the items and label the pictures with a description of what it is, where it came from, and why it holds a special place in your heart. It’s not uncommon for these items to come up missing or be destroyed the minute you mention the word divorce so get to it!
  • And finally, do your research. Learn about the divorce process. Know what to expect, learn about finances after a divorce, and when the time is right, get yourself a rock star lawyer.

Of course, this is just a small sampling of what you need to do to keep moving in the right direction. There is so much more involved, and it is imperative that you understand the pre-divorce preparation before you ever even talk to an attorney.

If all this seems too much and you feel overwhelmed, hold back your tears like Beth Ditto and don’t worry. The experts at Legal Liaisons, LLC, are here to help you with the divorce process from start to finish. Let us keep you from losing your mind and help you…

Move In The Right Direction

And as always….

Rock On Because I Sure Am.

** Be on the lookout for next week's blog in our divorce series where

we give you a brief lesson on what to expect during the divorce process.**

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

February 6, 2020

Ah, The Clash. I always loved the song "Should I Stay or Should I Go". I love the slower vibe intermixed with the high-paced frenzy that I've heard called punkabilly that makes me want to morph into Joey Ramone (another all-time favorite). I love the way Joe Strummer's voice dives into the heart of the song. But I mostly love the title of the song and the all too real lyrics. I don't know why, but I just do. And even though I know the song isn't really about divorce, I somehow find it fitting to the subject.

As the song asks should I stay or should I go, it makes you ask the question: Do we ever really know if it's time to go? Probably not at first, but eventually yeah, you know. You know deep down in your heart but there a few things to consider before you make the big leap into the world of divorce. Taking a cue from The Clash, you have to decide:  If you go will it be trouble or if you stay will it be double?

No matter, you have to make a choice and the process, much like the song wails, is like a tease that will have you on your knees with one day being fine and the next day being black. The only way to get this monkey off your back is to take the time to figure it out and then you have to develop a plan.

The first step of the plan is to get over the fear of the unknown. Yes, it's scary to think you might be strapped financially. It's heart-breaking to consider how it might affect your kids. And it's terrifying to face the fact that you might be lonely and alone for an indefinite period of time.

But you have to get over the fear.

Look at it like this:

If you're not happy in your current situation and you don't see it getting any better, wouldn't it be horrific if you continued in a farce of a marriage?

Wouldn't it be like throwing away any hope of personal growth and potential opportunities if you never take a chance and find out what it feels like to be financially and emotionally independent?

Wouldn't it be worse for your kids to see their parents in a loveless relationship?

Wouldn't it be better to be alone where you can focus on yourself and your goals in spite of the loneliness than to suffer the same lonely feeling being stuck in a situation that feels like hell?

Answer these questions with pure honesty and do it now! Don't wait until you explode like a hand grenade. No, go ahead and face these questions head-on. If you wait, you're not only jeopardizing your sanity but also prolonging finding the happiness and joy you deserve.

But this is just the first step. Unfortunately, there's more to consider before deciding to move forward with a divorce.

Confused? Frustrated? Still don't know what to expect regardless of your decision? Do you need help and want to know all the steps in deciding if divorce is the right answer for you?

If so, Legal Liaisons, LLC, is here to help. Let us guide you through the process from start to finish so you can feel confident when you answer the question:

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

And as always….

Rock On Because I Sure Am.

** Be on the lookout for next week's blog in our divorce series

where we talk about what you need to prepare for divorce.**

Contact Us

January 19, 2020

Sometimes life throws you a curveball, one that you just don't know how to handle, and you have to seek the advice of an attorney. Whether you think you might be headed toward divorce, you had a little too much fun at the bar and got yourself that dreaded DUI, or you just have some general questions on a potential legal matter, you find yourself in need of legal counsel. That legal counsel needs to be someone you can trust to represent you and one who has the right expertise in the specific area of law you are concerned about.

So how do you find the perfect attorney for your unique situation? No worries! Rockin' Rach, the top Liaison, is here to give you the Lowdown on finding an attorney that will rock your case on out.

The most important factor in getting started is knowing what area of law you're dealing with. Is it family law, a criminal issue, an estate matter or perhaps a disability claim? It's important to understand what type of law your issue pertains to in order to find the right attorney. Not only does the attorney need to have a niche in that area of law, but they also need to have a working knowledge of the courts and laws of your issue as well as the courts and laws of the region where you have a potential complaint or legal matter.

Next, do your research. Yeah, it's a hassle and takes a lot of time but if you don't, you'll be sorry! You can always do a Google search to get started or look at lawyer review websites, but many times these strategies aren't giving you the full story on an attorney. No, your best bet is to ask around: friends, family, neighbors, etc.  Also, pay attention to billboards and an attorney's website. Ask people you know if they've ever used the attorney who is advertising for a particular area of law. Word of mouth can tell you a lot that lawyer reviews and Google searches can't.

Once you think you've zoned in on the right attorney, make an appointment for a consultation. Be sure to find out if there is a consultation fee first and find out what documents you may need for the attorney to review. You might even want to forward any documents they request prior to the consultation to give the attorney time to look it over.

Now that you've done all that, it's time to actually show up for the appointment. Do everybody a favor: Show up ON TIME (preferably a little early) WITHOUT an entourage. You're not a celebrity so don't bring all your peeps with you and leave your kids at home or with a babysitter. The attorney's staff is not a freebie daycare.

Once you're in that one-on-one with the prospective attorney, ask questions. Ask them about their experience in the area of law in which you have an issue. Find out how they intend to communicate with you and how available they will be to speak with you when you have questions about your case. Look around the office. Notice things such as an organized, clean environment. Pay attention to the professionalism of the staff and the attorney. Make sure you understand the fee structure. In other words, know how you're going to be charged. And most importantly, determine if the attorney seems interested in listening to you, schedules enough time to hear you out, and if you feel comfortable with them. If any of these things don't agree with your standards, find somebody else.

Lastly, don't talk to just one attorney. Make appointments with a few and compare what you've learned about each one. Ask yourself which one you feel the most comfortable with, if you felt the staff was approachable and friendly, if you felt the attorney had the right knowledge and skills and if they acted as though they wanted to work with you.

Although it's a daunting task, finding the right attorney could make or break your case and it's worth taking the time to do your homework before you hire one. But here's the best option of all: Let the experts at Legal Liaisons, LLC, take the stress out of finding an attorney for your case. With our extensive knowledge of practicing attorneys in several jurisdictions and venues, we can recommend the most rockin' attorney, one that will work hard for you.  Just use the Contact page to connect with a Liaison and find out more about how we can help.

And as always….

Rock On Because I Sure Am.

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